ITP-Breakdown of the effects of Dexamethasone on my body--DAY #7

Day #7:

Morning/Early Afternoon:
Slept fitfully again, woke up not very rested. Hand tremors seem to be decreasing, brain fog is still there, as well as exhaustion, concern and discouragement.

When I feel lousy like this, it's so hard to remember that I'm not always going to feel like this, that this isn't my new life, that there are better days ahead. I remember when I was pregnant with my daughter, the morning sickness and the fatigue would get to me, and I would start to panic, because a part of me (a large part of me, honestly) assumed that this was my new life, and how in the world was I ever going to be able to take care of a baby if I was never going to feel good again?

Obviously, rationality is not my strong suit when I'm not feeling well. I wonder if other people feel this way too, or if I'm just the weird one who can't keep it together in the midst of trial.

I do think that my symptoms and side effects are decreased somewhat today. It's hard to tell though, because the fatigue and tiredness from the internal war zone that my body has been through the past six days carry their own difficulties. Were I not so tired, I think I would feel better. As it is, I think I feel about the same. Fortunately, I don't think that I feel worse. So, there's hope there.

Afternoon/Evening:

I think I've turned the corner. Thank Heaven! Sensory sensitivity is still there, but I was able to listen to my daughter practicing the piano without wanting to climb the walls, and I could carry on conversations, even animated ones (not ones where I was animated, but ones where others were) without feeling like I was going crazy. Probably not coincidentally, my mental outlook has improved considerably. Whereas this morning my life stretched out before me as one endless trip to the rock pile, now I feel like there actually might be some joy and happiness to be found along the way.

If history holds, the trick now is to enjoy each step back to health as it comes, not trying to do too much too soon, and being grateful that I'm able to ease back into life, rather than impatient that I can't jump right back in with both feet.

Truth be told, having ITP has given me the opportunity (however unwelcome it may be) to learn quite a few life lessons. Surely those lessons are molding me into a more well-rounded person, right? That's not too much to hope for, right?