Morning:
Was able to get to sleep around midnight, woke up at 5:40 and couldn't get to sleep again. Not ideal, but that happened on day 2 last time around as well, so I'm not too surprised or upset. I feel a little shaky, particularly in my hands, but nothing too bad yet. I forgot to mention it yesterday, but I've felt warmer than I feel when I'm not on steroids, that has continued, and I have some redness to my skin this morning. Checked my blood sugar, fasting I'm at 117. So, still high, but a far cry from yesterday evening's 260+. I'll retest in an hour or two.
Yesterday my daughter overheard Eric and me, and then my father and me talking about my blood sugar going up and needing to get that re-checked. She's only nine, and is still somewhat traumatized from the experience that we all had when I was initially diagnosed. She and I remember it a little differently. I remember it as the time I thought I had leukemia (a disease that could kill me and would certainly require a long, concerted, expensive and life-disrupting course of infusions, medications, nausea, hair loss, and other heroic difficulties), and was relieved to find that it was only ITP (a condition that was concerning, but much less life-threatening and much more treatable).
She, on the other hand, remembers it as the time that mom left her on a school holiday, telling her that she had to go to the doctor, but would be back in an hour or two, and then didn't come home for four days, turning her world on its ear.
So understandably I suppose, she gets pretty concerned when my platelets drop and we go through the never-quite-the-same road of treatment, worrying that any wrong turn could end up with her mom in the hospital again.
We talked over all this last night, and I think I finally got a handle on what was making her so upset. I'm pretty honest with her about what's going on, and when it's the truth (and it generally is), I always tell her that while things aren't comfortable for any of us when we endure my low-platelet treatments, it's not serious, there is no cause to worry, and I'm not going anywhere. But, as she pointed out, that's pretty much the message I gave her at the very beginning, and I was wrong that time.
She makes a good point.
In an effort to calm her fears, I explained to her that the situation is different now. Now that I have some experience with this, I better know the signs that my body gives me when my platelets are low, and I'm not going to wait to get tested like I did the first time. Also, this time I have an actual diagnosis, and a doctor who knows much much more about my disease, and much more about me than I had the first time. So, the likelihood of me having to be hospitalized while doctors and technicians poke and prod me and try to be sure that they know what's going wrong with me and making sure that what they are doing for me works? That's all much much less likely to happen now.
I think that calmed her concerns somewhat.
Afternoon:
I feel tired, but only slightly worse than yesterday, perhaps even a little better. That's odd for day two, but I'm thinking that it's more that yesterday was atypically hard rather than today is atypically easy. Still, I'm glad that it doesn't appear that yesterday was a new baseline for how this round will probably go.
I have a dull headache, and achy eyes. I don't feel too too spacey.
Evening:
Overall, it's been a better day today than yesterday. That's not happened to me before, day 2 is always at least a little worse than day 1. I'm guessing that my higher blood sugar yesterday is to blame for my uncharacteristic difficulties then. Today I did get more spacey as the day went on, after work I mainly sat on the couch and crocheted, working on a hat that I'm making for an Etsy customer. I got the stitch counting wrong a few times, something that doesn't generally happen when I'm making something as simple as a beanie, but when on steroids, all bets are off.
I did find the energy to throw some flour, oil, eggs, cocoa, and shredded zucchini in a bowl and make a batch of zucchini muffins for my daughter to take in her lunches for school. I nearly put the eggshells in the bowl with the eggs (another thing that doesn't generally happen) but I got distracted, and I don't multi-task well when I'm on the Dex. Luckily, I came to my senses soon enough to get the shells in the trash.
Another thing, personality wise, today at work I caught myself speaking more frankly and with more opinions than I generally do. I don't think I went too far or was inappropriate, but I wasn't as mild-mannered or as circumspect as I often am. But, I told my colleagues that I was "back on the sauce", and I'm fortunate that they are patient with me when that happens.
So, all things considered, this could have been a much harder day than it was. I'm a little concerned about tomorrow, I have work, parent teacher conference, driving my kid to karate lessons, and attending my weight loss meeting, and I'm likely to feel worse tomorrow than I do today. But, we'll take the day as it comes, and if I have to cut back on some things, then that is what I will do.
